Chapter 43
¶ 1 Leave a comment on paragraph 1 0 Why should I pause to ask how much of my shrinking from Provis might be traced to Estella? Why should I loiter on my road, to compare the state of mind in which I had tried to rid myself of the stain of the prison before meeting her at the coach-office, with the state of mind in which I now reflected on the abyss between Estella in her pride and beauty, and the returned transport whom I harbored? The road would be none the smoother for it, the end would be none the better for it, he would not be helped, nor I extenuated.
¶ 2 Leave a comment on paragraph 2 0 A new fear had been engendered in my mind by his narrative; or rather, his narrative had given form and purpose to the fear that was already there. If Compeyson were alive and should discover his return, I could hardly doubt the consequence. That Compeyson stood in mortal fear of him, neither of the two could know much better than I; and that any such man as that man had been described to be would hesitate to release himself for good from a dreaded enemy by the safe means of becoming an informer was scarcely to be imagined.
¶ 3 Leave a comment on paragraph 3 0 Never had I breathed, and never would I breathe—or so I resolved—a word of Estella to Provis. But, I said to Herbert that, before I could go abroad, I must see both Estella and Miss Havisham. This was when we were left alone on the night of the day when Provis told us his story. I resolved to go out to Richmond next day, and I went.
¶ 4 Leave a comment on paragraph 4 1 On my presenting myself at Mrs. Brandley’s, Estella’s maid was called to tell that Estella had gone into the country. Where? To Satis House, as usual. Not as usual, I said, for she had never yet gone there without me; when was she coming back? There was an air of reservation in the answer which increased my perplexity, and the answer was, that her maid believed she was only coming back at all for a little while. I could make nothing of this, except that it was meant that I should make nothing of it, and I went home again in complete discomfiture.
¶ 5 Leave a comment on paragraph 5 0 Another night consultation with Herbert after Provis was gone home (I always took him home, and always looked well about me), led us to the conclusion that nothing should be said about going abroad until I came back from Miss Havisham’s. In the mean time, Herbert and I were to consider separately what it would be best to say; whether we should devise any pretence of being afraid that he was under suspicious observation; or whether I, who had never yet been abroad, should propose an expedition. We both knew that I had but to propose anything, and he would consent. We agreed that his remaining many days in his present hazard was not to be thought of.
¶ 6 Leave a comment on paragraph 6 0 Next day I had the meanness to feign that I was under a binding promise to go down to Joe; but I was capable of almost any meanness towards Joe or his name. Provis was to be strictly careful while I was gone, and Herbert was to take the charge of him that I had taken. I was to be absent only one night, and, on my return, the gratification of his impatience for my starting as a gentleman on a greater scale was to be begun. It occurred to me then, and as I afterwards found to Herbert also, that he might be best got away across the water, on that pretence,—as, to make purchases, or the like.
¶ 7 Leave a comment on paragraph 7 0 Having thus cleared the way for my expedition to Miss Havisham’s, I set off by the early morning coach before it was yet light, and was out on the open country road when the day came creeping on, halting and whimpering and shivering, and wrapped in patches of cloud and rags of mist, like a beggar. When we drove up to the Blue Boar after a drizzly ride, whom should I see come out under the gateway, toothpick in hand, to look at the coach, but Bentley Drummle!
¶ 8 Leave a comment on paragraph 8 0 As he pretended not to see me, I pretended not to see him. It was a very lame pretence on both sides; the lamer, because we both went into the coffee-room, where he had just finished his breakfast, and where I ordered mine. It was poisonous to me to see him in the town, for I very well knew why he had come there.
¶ 9 Leave a comment on paragraph 9 0 Pretending to read a smeary newspaper long out of date, which had nothing half so legible in its local news, as the foreign matter of coffee, pickles, fish sauces, gravy, melted butter, and wine with which it was sprinkled all over, as if it had taken the measles in a highly irregular form, I sat at my table while he stood before the fire. By degrees it became an enormous injury to me that he stood before the fire. And I got up, determined to have my share of it. I had to put my hand behind his legs for the poker when I went up to the fireplace to stir the fire, but still pretended not to know him.
¶ 10 Leave a comment on paragraph 10 0 “Is this a cut?” said Mr. Drummle.
¶ 11 Leave a comment on paragraph 11 0 “Oh!” said I, poker in hand; “it’s you, is it? How do you do? I was wondering who it was, who kept the fire off.”
¶ 12 Leave a comment on paragraph 12 0 With that, I poked tremendously, and having done so, planted myself side by side with Mr. Drummle, my shoulders squared and my back to the fire.
¶ 13 Leave a comment on paragraph 13 0 “You have just come down?” said Mr. Drummle, edging me a little away with his shoulder.
¶ 14 Leave a comment on paragraph 14 0 “Yes,” said I, edging him a little away with my shoulder.
¶ 15 Leave a comment on paragraph 15 0 “Beastly place,” said Drummle. “Your part of the country, I think?”
¶ 16 Leave a comment on paragraph 16 0 “Yes,” I assented. “I am told it’s very like your Shropshire.”
¶ 17 Leave a comment on paragraph 17 0 “Not in the least like it,” said Drummle.
¶ 18 Leave a comment on paragraph 18 0 Here Mr. Drummle looked at his boots and I looked at mine, and then Mr. Drummle looked at my boots, and I looked at his.
¶ 19 Leave a comment on paragraph 19 0 “Have you been here long?” I asked, determined not to yield an inch of the fire.
¶ 20 Leave a comment on paragraph 20 0 “Long enough to be tired of it,” returned Drummle, pretending to yawn, but equally determined.
¶ 21 Leave a comment on paragraph 21 0 “Do you stay here long?”
¶ 22 Leave a comment on paragraph 22 0 “Can’t say,” answered Mr. Drummle. “Do you?”
¶ 23 Leave a comment on paragraph 23 0 “Can’t say,” said I.
¶ 24 Leave a comment on paragraph 24 0 I felt here, through a tingling in my blood, that if Mr. Drummle’s shoulder had claimed another hair’s breadth of room, I should have jerked him into the window; equally, that if my own shoulder had urged a similar claim, Mr. Drummle would have jerked me into the nearest box. He whistled a little. So did I.
¶ 25 Leave a comment on paragraph 25 0 “Large tract of marshes about here, I believe?” said Drummle.
¶ 26 Leave a comment on paragraph 26 0 “Yes. What of that?” said I.
¶ 27 Leave a comment on paragraph 27 0 Mr. Drummle looked at me, and then at my boots, and then said, “Oh!” and laughed.
¶ 28 Leave a comment on paragraph 28 0 “Are you amused, Mr. Drummle?”
¶ 29 Leave a comment on paragraph 29 0 “No,” said he, “not particularly. I am going out for a ride in the saddle. I mean to explore those marshes for amusement. Out-of-the-way villages there, they tell me. Curious little public-houses—and smithies—and that. Waiter!”
¶ 30 Leave a comment on paragraph 30 0 “Yes, sir.”
¶ 31 Leave a comment on paragraph 31 0 “Is that horse of mine ready?”
¶ 32 Leave a comment on paragraph 32 0 “Brought round to the door, sir.”
¶ 33 Leave a comment on paragraph 33 0 “I say. Look here, you sir. The lady won’t ride to-day; the weather won’t do.”
¶ 34 Leave a comment on paragraph 34 0 “Very good, sir.”
¶ 35 Leave a comment on paragraph 35 0 “And I don’t dine, because I’m going to dine at the lady’s.”
¶ 36 Leave a comment on paragraph 36 0 “Very good, sir.”
¶ 37 Leave a comment on paragraph 37 0 Then, Drummle glanced at me, with an insolent triumph on his great-jowled face that cut me to the heart, dull as he was, and so exasperated me, that I felt inclined to take him in my arms (as the robber in the story-book is said to have taken the old lady) and seat him on the fire.
¶ 38 Leave a comment on paragraph 38 0 One thing was manifest to both of us, and that was, that until relief came, neither of us could relinquish the fire. There we stood, well squared up before it, shoulder to shoulder and foot to foot, with our hands behind us, not budging an inch. The horse was visible outside in the drizzle at the door, my breakfast was put on the table, Drummle’s was cleared away, the waiter invited me to begin, I nodded, we both stood our ground.
¶ 39 Leave a comment on paragraph 39 0 “Have you been to the Grove since?” said Drummle.
¶ 40 Leave a comment on paragraph 40 0 “No,” said I, “I had quite enough of the Finches the last time I was there.”
¶ 41 Leave a comment on paragraph 41 0 “Was that when we had a difference of opinion?”
¶ 42 Leave a comment on paragraph 42 0 “Yes,” I replied, very shortly.
¶ 43 Leave a comment on paragraph 43 0 “Come, come! They let you off easily enough,” sneered Drummle. “You shouldn’t have lost your temper.”
¶ 44 Leave a comment on paragraph 44 0 “Mr. Drummle,” said I, “you are not competent to give advice on that subject. When I lose my temper (not that I admit having done so on that occasion), I don’t throw glasses.”
¶ 45 Leave a comment on paragraph 45 0 “I do,” said Drummle.
¶ 46 Leave a comment on paragraph 46 0 After glancing at him once or twice, in an increased state of smouldering ferocity, I said,—
¶ 47 Leave a comment on paragraph 47 0 “Mr. Drummle, I did not seek this conversation, and I don’t think it an agreeable one.”
¶ 48 Leave a comment on paragraph 48 0 “I am sure it’s not,” said he, superciliously over his shoulder; “I don’t think anything about it.”
¶ 49 Leave a comment on paragraph 49 0 “And therefore,” I went on, “with your leave, I will suggest that we hold no kind of communication in future.”
¶ 50 Leave a comment on paragraph 50 0 “Quite my opinion,” said Drummle, “and what I should have suggested myself, or done—more likely—without suggesting. But don’t lose your temper. Haven’t you lost enough without that?”
¶ 51 Leave a comment on paragraph 51 0 “What do you mean, sir?”
¶ 52 Leave a comment on paragraph 52 0 “Waiter!” said Drummle, by way of answering me.
¶ 53 Leave a comment on paragraph 53 0 The waiter reappeared.
¶ 54 Leave a comment on paragraph 54 0 “Look here, you sir. You quite understand that the young lady don’t ride to-day, and that I dine at the young lady’s?”
¶ 55 Leave a comment on paragraph 55 0 “Quite so, sir!”
¶ 56 Leave a comment on paragraph 56 0 When the waiter had felt my fast-cooling teapot with the palm of his hand, and had looked imploringly at me, and had gone out, Drummle, careful not to move the shoulder next me, took a cigar from his pocket and bit the end off, but showed no sign of stirring. Choking and boiling as I was, I felt that we could not go a word further, without introducing Estella’s name, which I could not endure to hear him utter; and therefore I looked stonily at the opposite wall, as if there were no one present, and forced myself to silence. How long we might have remained in this ridiculous position it is impossible to say, but for the incursion of three thriving farmers—laid on by the waiter, I think—who came into the coffee-room unbuttoning their great-coats and rubbing their hands, and before whom, as they charged at the fire, we were obliged to give way.
¶ 57 Leave a comment on paragraph 57 0 I saw him through the window, seizing his horse’s mane, and mounting in his blundering brutal manner, and sidling and backing away. I thought he was gone, when he came back, calling for a light for the cigar in his mouth, which he had forgotten. A man in a dust-colored dress appeared with what was wanted,—I could not have said from where: whether from the inn yard, or the street, or where not,—and as Drummle leaned down from the saddle and lighted his cigar and laughed, with a jerk of his head towards the coffee-room windows, the slouching shoulders and ragged hair of this man whose back was towards me reminded me of Orlick.
¶ 58 Leave a comment on paragraph 58 0 Too heavily out of sorts to care much at the time whether it were he or no, or after all to touch the breakfast, I washed the weather and the journey from my face and hands, and went out to the memorable old house that it would have been so much the better for me never to have entered, never to have seen.
Visiting Miss Havisham and Estella for the last time is a big turning point in Pip’s life. Once the maids informed him that Estella had traveled “to Satis House, as usual,” Pip decides to go there to see them.